I'd like to think that the title of this entry is something a medieval Johnny Cochrane might say about this test of Jurisprudence.

Way back when in Scotland, a sheriff could try someone accused of murder within three days... and at his disposal to see justice done, he could use something called bierricht.

This is when the judge could force the accused to touch the corpse... if the corpse bled, you had your murderer!

We have OFFICIAL reports of a beggar named "Bell" who was hanged in 1685 after being found to make his victim's corpse bleed... and in 1687, Phillip Stanfield also was hanged of fresh blood emanated from his victim on his touch.

Of course, there was a snag in this tested form of absolute justice... and that is, if the corpse DID NOT bleed, it didn't necessarily mean that the accused was innocent!

I know, you're shocked.

Well, apparently in 1658, a certain Major Strangeways (what an appropriate name!) was required to touch the corpse of his murdered brother in law at a coroners inquest... and no blood!

Well, the case proceeded to trial anyway, but as Maj. Strangeways refused to plead guilty or not guilty, he was tortured with "pressing"... the gradual adding of weights onto a human body until the accused "pleads" their case... well, Maj. Strangeways didn't plead... in fact, he was crushed to death. This death was seen to ALSO prove his guilt! (Surely God would keep him from death from the pressing if he was truly innocent, right?) Either way, Strangeways' case tossed a spanner into the perfect and scientific way of determining the guilt of a murderer... bierricht.

Still, I'm sure an ancient Scots version of Johnny Cochrane would say...

Ach!

Source: The Strange Laws of Old England by Nigel Cawthorne